Same-sex couples take extra steps to protect rights

By Charlotte Eby
Des Moines Bureau

DES MOINES — Jen and Dawn BarbouRoske of Iowa City are planning a summer wedding after the Iowa Supreme Court cleared the way last month for same-sex couples to marry in Iowa.

Dawn and Jen BarbouRoske of Iowa City listen as they wait to speak in December 2005 at a press conference in downtown Cedar Rapids. Lambda Legal filed a lawsuit on behalf of the pair and five other same-sex couples from across Iowa, winning them the right to marry when an Iowa Supreme Court ruling last month legalized same-sex marriage. Photo by Cliff Jette.

The two women, who’ve been together more than 18 years, were plaintiffs in the landmark case legalizing same-sex marriage in Iowa. The BarbouRoskes and other same-sex couples are finding, however, that their Iowa marriage won’t guarantee them recognition by the federal government or other states.

For that reason, Lambda Legal, an organization that filed the lawsuit seeking marriage rights for same-sex couples in Iowa, is encouraging couples to take extra legal steps to protect their rights. They are advising married same-sex couples to draw up health-care powers of attorney, wills and guardianships, and to carry copies with them when they leave the state.

The BarbouRoskes have durable health-care powers of attorney, adoption papers for their children and a living will. They plan to take their legal documents with them when they travel outside Iowa.

“We will continue to keep it with us,” Jen BarbouRoske said. “It’s nothing we’re ever willing to gamble” on.

Camilla Taylor, a senior staff attorney for Lambda Legal, points to the case of a lesbian couple from Washington who were vacationing with their children in Florida. A complaint alleges that after one of the women fell ill, hospital staff prevented her partner and the children from being by her side as she lay dying, even though she and her partner had durable powers of attorney.

“It’s just a really tragic case, so it illustrates that even if you take all of the legal protections that you can take, you still can’t be guaranteed fair treatment at the times when you need it most,” Taylor said.

Same-sex couples with children also face potential legal hurdles, even though Iowa children born to married, same-sex couples will have both as legal parents, Taylor said.

Lambda Legal still strongly encourages same-sex couples to go through with a legal adoption for the second parent, even though the process might cost thousands of dollars and be intrusive into the family’s privacy.

“Adoption decrees are ironclad protection and must be respected in other states,” Taylor said.

The BarbouRoskes have done that, too.

The federal government’s refusal to recognize same-sex marriages brings another set of issues. Social Security benefits and federal employee benefits, such as health insurance, aren’t extended to same-sex spouses. The ability to sponsor a partner for immigration also is denied.

Gay and lesbian members of the military, including the National Guard, who marry their same-sex partner can be disqualified from service for violating the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

The federal government’s stance also applies to taxes.

For the BarbouRoskes, that will mean filing a joint state income-tax return but separate federal returns.

“After 18 1/2 years, you should not have to mark ‘single,’ ” Jen BarbouRoske said.

Couples from out of state who travel to Iowa to marry may have difficulty getting a divorce, too.

Their home states might night recognize a same-sex marriage from Iowa, and those who believe they can travel back to Iowa for a quick divorce would be mistaken. Iowa has a 12-month residency requirement.

Legal advice

Lambda Legal’s Midwest Regional Office help desk, (312)663-4413, can assist callers with discrimination based on sexual orientation and other legal matters. Hours are 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. weekdays. 

© Gazette Communications 2009